Isabelle tossed and turned one last time before she gave up trying to sleep and stepped out of bed. She found an old t-shirt and pulled it over her head before she opened the balcony doors and sat on the chair that was placed on the balcony. If she wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight she might as well finish her essay.
She looked up from her writings and watched the sea, that was but 50 meters away from her small apartment. Waves hit the sand, while the wind lifted the dry sand grains only to let them fall into the water. The sun hit the water as it sets. Memories invaded her mind as she remember how it felt like to take long walks along the beach, watching the setting of the sun with Daniel, her husband.
Isabelle sighed as she remember their first date. Daniel had brought a picnic basket and they had gone to the beach to have a picnic. He had told her he’d provide everything and once they arrived on a nice spot he laid out the blanket for her so she could sit on it. Isabelle had been nervous as she watched Daniel open the basket and setting the blanket with different types of food and drinks. It had been a long time since she had been on a date and she did not know how to handle this.
Daniel had told her to relax and that he was just as nervous; it had helped calm her nerves. A sad smile reached her face as she remembered their first kiss. It had been awkward. Neither knew what to expect. They had leaned in and first bumped their foreheads together, and when they tried again their noses. But eventually they had worked it out. Daniel had leaned to one side and Isabelle to the other and once their lips met, the kiss was perfect.
Although I can still remember our first kiss, the memory is no longer enough. I was you were here to hold me, to kiss me, to love me.Isabelle went to the beach as she gazed over the sea.
She thought of her friends, and once more a sad smile returned to her face. “Did you know,” she started, talking out loud as if she was talking to her husband, “that Sophia and Jeremy actually tried to hook me up with one of their friends, Stuart I believe he is called?” Whenever she was with friends she’d wear a mask, pretending she was alright. She was always smiling, laughing acting as if she had moved on. She, in fact had not moved on. Every night she would hold a pillow that she had dressed with one of Daniel’s shirt so it would look like he was there with her. Or she would talk out loud to him as if he was there, like she was doing now.
“You might not believe this but you are the only one I’ll ever need. I have never loved anyone as I’ve loved you. You are my soulmate. It doesn’t seem right to have found you only to loose you.” Clouds floated over the beach, thunder stroke in the distance, rain started falling from the sky.
Are you trying to wash away the pain for me? this thought made her smile. She lifted her face to the heavens as the rain washed away the tears that had fallen from her eyes.
“There was a time when I felt whole. Just being with you made my life complete. You dressed my soul, we were one,” Isabelle turned her attention back to the sea as the thunder got closer. “For now I’ll remain with the memories of the days when life was fun. When you were with me, when we were smiling, when we were happy. I keep on going, although all I want is to be with you. I shan’t take my life, but know, Daniel, that I will never stop loving you. Even though I find a person I could spend the rest of my life with, I shall always love you more. Goodbye my love, until we meet again,” with one last glance at the heavens Isabelle turned around and walked back to her apartment.
Tomorrow she would try again to move on. But tonight she’d cling to the old memories that will never leave her alone…
August 4 2007